The Door Bell

Life begins in pure essence that persues direction over time and never seems to actually have a direction until you turn around and view it from where you have been.
These days my mind is filled with thoughts I never had as a younger woman and yet they are just as confusing and worrisome as the thoughts I had back then. Being young, you worry about how you look to others and undoubtedly what others think of you. As your path unwinds, and you mature that doesn't seem to be quite an issue as it once was.
Until now...
In my forties I was content. I had moved beyond vanity and became oh so comfortable in my skin and heart. I thought life would remain like that forever or at least for a lifetime. Experience should have echoed.... WHY? After all I had learned valuable lessons throughout my life's journey and the most important lesson learned, was this.... "nothing ever stays the same". Change is ever lurking and always present. Why then could I not recognize that in this stage of my life?
I AM changing...
The skin on my hands has begun to sag and wrinkle. My hands themselves no longer move in graceful waves of beauty, they are constant reminders of the change my life is taking all too soon for my comfort. I even realized it has nothing to do with exercise or diet. Hands get enough exercise everyday being the givers in life's pleasures,and healing, and comforts, and happiness. Long before now, I had given up on the quick footed girl I once was and resigned myself to the crackling of joints, the graying of hair, the lack luster of skin, the loss of clear sight and the list goes on, but my hands, the expression of my work and joy have now begun to betray me as well. I see them in everything I do, so they are constant reminders of what life used to be and what it is now.
Life has a chosen path and the reality of where I am going has begun to sink deep into my soul, but I will not know the full meaning of the direction in which it will travel until long from now, when I turn around and see where I have been.
How blessed I am to see the differences in my hands. They resonate the growth and change in my life and mirror those other changes that dwell in my heart. I pray the changes I see in my hands are parallels to the changes in my soul.
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Shelia said...

Donna, as I sit and read this, I ask myself when did Donna visit my soul, and write what is in my heart and soul right now. And you talk about our hands. I look at mine, and I spent time with my 87 year ole mother today, I kept glancing back at her hands, and the stories that they reveal to me. Also when my son died, as he lay there, I kept looking at his hands, he was a mechanic by trade. His hands showed manual labor and scars of his profession. Our hands do lead to our souls don't they. Thank you for writing what I did not have words to say.

Donna said...

Thank you Shelia for affirming why I will write!

inkedx2 said...

Donna I can so relate to this! As hard as we try to stay young in our minds our bodies just wear out. You put it so eloquently!