All summer my sedum have stood at my back door entrance as sentrys welcoming me home. I knew they were there, gracing my landscape design yet most days I hardly noticed them. Then in a moment you don't see creep up, you notice that there is a difference. The shadows are darker and longer, the birds are quieter, the lawn is greener, the air is less heavy and your mind remembers from experience the season is changing. The summer is flowing away, it has ebbed for one last time and you probably didn't even mark the time, and now it is flowing away to give rise to a new season.
When I was young this in between seasons was uncomfortable because it was chilly in the morning and oh so early to be out of the house going to school, and then in the afternoon it was sticky and I was sweaty. It never felt particularly "right". I would wear knee socks and oxfords in the morning to go to school and then change into flip flops and shorts in the afternoon. My drawers we full of both kinds of clothes and it was not at all calming.
As I look at my own life now, I feel that in a broader sense just like the change in seasons,that is where I am. I am not comfortable in being between the seasons of my life. I have been in the warmth and fun of mid adult hood with all the energized moments, like summer brings . Long ago I left the spring of being a new wife and mother, excited in all NEW moments in life that would begin my Memory Album in my minds eye. Everything was SO fresh. I transitioned easily into the role of summer where I became a more confident mom and enjoyed the spring of my own babies in all their exploration into adolecense! I was full. My life as a mom was enriched and I was empowered, and I began to live my life in a way that was freeing and self absorbed once again like it was when I was 16. I was in the last days of summer!
Now, I see the onset of fall. The shadows are darker and longer and the quiet has begun to set in. I peer from the sidelines, like in a football game. Not nimble enough, or perky enough to be the cheerleader, but still interested enough to enjoy the excitement. I reflect on what it used to be like and I feel a tinge of sadness that those days are gone, but know too that they will forever be in my memory to live out again and again!
Although the times are changing and a new season is about to bloom, it will bloom in the richest of colors. The jewel tones of the autumn season enrich our lives, and we look forward to them. People come from all over to be a part of that season and draw close to it. The warmth and hominess they receive from autumn are the same gifts that we exude in our lives during our autumn season. We are wiser, and more patient with time, we are more content to be just who we are, we are happier to be sharing our dreams and our hearts with those we love and more.
Autumn only took a moment to creep up on me, I didn't see it's fast approach but I am aware that it is here. As I enjoy the onset of fall and sit on my porch drinking hot cider, I will think often of the days of summer and my life's journey.
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