Labor Day

All summer my sedum have stood at my back door entrance as sentrys welcoming me home. I knew they were there, gracing my landscape design yet most days I hardly noticed them. Then in a moment you don't see creep up, you notice that there is a difference. The shadows are darker and longer, the birds are quieter, the lawn is greener, the air is less heavy and your mind remembers from experience the season is changing. The summer is flowing away, it has ebbed for one last time and you probably didn't even mark the time, and now it is flowing away to give rise to a new season.
When I was young this in between seasons was uncomfortable because it was chilly in the morning and oh so early to be out of the house going to school, and then in the afternoon it was sticky and I was sweaty. It never felt particularly "right". I would wear knee socks and oxfords in the morning to go to school and then change into flip flops and shorts in the afternoon. My drawers we full of both kinds of clothes and it was not at all calming.
As I look at my own life now, I feel that in a broader sense just like the change in seasons,that is where I am. I am not comfortable in being between the seasons of my life. I have been in the warmth and fun of mid adult hood with all the energized moments, like summer brings . Long ago I left the spring of being a new wife and mother, excited in all NEW moments in life that would begin my Memory Album in my minds eye. Everything was SO fresh. I transitioned easily into the role of summer where I became a more confident mom and enjoyed the spring of my own babies in all their exploration into adolecense! I was full. My life as a mom was enriched and I was empowered, and I began to live my life in a way that was freeing and self absorbed once again like it was when I was 16. I was in the last days of summer!
Now, I see the onset of fall. The shadows are darker and longer and the quiet has begun to set in. I peer from the sidelines, like in a football game. Not nimble enough, or perky enough to be the cheerleader, but still interested enough to enjoy the excitement. I reflect on what it used to be like and I feel a tinge of sadness that those days are gone, but know too that they will forever be in my memory to live out again and again!
Although the times are changing and a new season is about to bloom, it will bloom in the richest of colors. The jewel tones of the autumn season enrich our lives, and we look forward to them. People come from all over to be a part of that season and draw close to it. The warmth and hominess they receive from autumn are the same gifts that we exude in our lives during our autumn season. We are wiser, and more patient with time, we are more content to be just who we are, we are happier to be sharing our dreams and our hearts with those we love and more.
Autumn only took a moment to creep up on me, I didn't see it's fast approach but I am aware that it is here. As I enjoy the onset of fall and sit on my porch drinking hot cider, I will think often of the days of summer and my life's journey.
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4 comments:

Lisa said...

I am a Spring mother....looking on for the glories of summer, fearful of the shades of autumn and aware of the fact that all too quickly, life will pass....I am chilled and awoken to relish the times I have now to make the "moments" of my future memories....I stare trying to steal a lesson learned from those who have gone before me so that I may live each day to its fullest and not lok back in regret. The pressure of having to have it right is overwhelming.....as I sit here wanting to know how it all turns out, I force myself to take in this moment and be glad.

Thanks for sharing all of your wisdoms mom.....and thank you for the many gifts you blessed me with in my mundane day today.....an unexpected visit, caring for my little one so I could make sense of my chaos, sharing with me a meal and thoughts on life and giving me a moment of smiles in my restful break from all that creeps up on me. I love you!

Butternutsage said...

okay so make me cry!

Anonymous said...

You could not have hit a more sensitive chord. Very insightful. This one made me cry. It's bittersweet how life is, isn't it?

Shelia said...

Also made me cry, I too am in the Autumn of my life. And it hasn't been a pretty transition. But one that I have to accept, and try to make the best of. Thank you for putting into words my very feelings.