Sweet Angel Boy

I'll forever remember the soft whimper of the newborn I held in my arms. He was not mine but for some reason I knew our hearts would be connected in a way that I thought was special. At that moment I didn't have the inclination how special. He had come into this world after a long and exhausting labor. His whimper changed to sighs as he rested in peace.
Each day I needed to get my fix and I would visit him. He had deep dark chocolate hair that covered his head so perfectly. His eyes were like those of a seal, pools of dark espresso.

He was an aggitated soul, and I remember the race to get him changed each night as an infant so as not to upset him. I had never seen a newborn be so aggitated with having his clothes changed.

As he grew he was astounding. He could do full sit ups at five months that were awesome! I had never seen that either. He was never a baby who would interact with you so it was a challenge at play time. Days went by and months and years and he grew more and more handsome. The kind of soul that takes your breath away when you see him.

Nursery school came and challenges got more difficult. He just didn't measure up to the other children. We were lost with no place to turn. There were no road maps to help us along the way, even when we searched out professionls. So, we stumbled on each and every path trying to decipher our way. He was asked to leave nursery school (he was three)and the next year he went to a second choice. He left there and the next year he went to kindergarten. He was tested, and questions became more difficult for the professionals to answer. He started his third school at age 6 and was still in Kindergarten and finally started first grade this year. He is taller than the other kids and a little less coordinated, and has outbursts and doesn't fit in well. We still have questions, and roads to travel and no answers until today.

This little angel was first diagnosed as being autistic, then on the autism spectrum which entails a wide range of disabilities and weaknesses to a lesser and more confusing degree. I always felt uncomfortable with this diagnosis even though I wanted to find a neat little niche to put him in. He didn't quite fit the parameters because his heart and level of empathy was so broad, and he can put into words that which most adults cannot share. His emotions overflow into the enviroment with reckless abandon both good, as when he comforts an elderly person, or bad as when he lashes out at the littlest infraction upon his personal space.

He is unique. He is a gift. He is special. He is God's plan. He is a lesson for us.

Today the results of his most recent testing came back and we finally have some answers and some resources. Changes will have to be made, but I think we can hope with more assuredness that we are on the right path. Finally, we will be able to support him and let him blossom into the wonderful person he is meant to be. I hope he senses all that we do is for his benefit and will not be stigmatized in any way. His heart is so pure and his reasoning is so complex and right on. We have a lot to learn from him. I am excited to see who he will become. God bless you sweet angel. Your path has finally cleared! (click on this picture and look into those eyes. They belong to a gift from God)
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2 comments:

Andrea L - EnchantINK said...

This post shows what a beautiful loving heart you have Donna ... and how special a bond we share with our grandchildren. This little angel is so blessed to have a loving family around him ... to support and encourage him as he grows into the young man ... that God has so many wonderful plans for! I hope you & your family will manage the journey ... and always remember. God only gives these "precious & special children" to those who have the gifts and love to care for them. You all have a very amazing road ahead ... but I am sure it will be full of many blessings! Hugs xxaxx

Shelia said...

You said it all, when you said, an unique and amazing gift from GOD. And how very lucky you and he also is to have been chosen for each other. Those eyes and eye lashes are awesome. And there is that sparkle in them. May they always keep that sparkle.