Remembering Mom

I had planned all year to write something poignant today. It is an anniversary after all. One that still makes me cry after 18 years. On that day in 1993 I was 39 and still young. I had a wonderful husband, and two children 14 and 16 and a beautiful life. Yet on that warm and drizzly day my heart was ripped out at 3:00 pm. Shock set in for protection, and life went on in a robotic sense. The pieces were put together out of either necessity or from memory and we all went through the motions of ceremony. On that day I joined a club and finally knew what it felt like to lose someone important to your being. I felt alone, and I felt abandoned, but I was numb at the same time. For months sadness over ran my days, and then one year came to an end of firsts and then years came to their ends marking milestones never shared. Each one recounting the sadness of the loss of my mother. Today, is the eighteenth year since I have heard her voice or seen her eyes and most of today was not sad, because I have found peace in memories. However, today marks another milestone that makes me think of her. Today her fourth great grandchild was born! Little Ronan has made his debut on a special day for all of us. My little sister has become a grandmother for the first time! Not being able to share that event with her own mother. But the plan of God is always evident in the joy He sends to us. Ronan is a gift of hope and love and joy that rises to the heavens in prayers of delight and happiness. After eighteen years of wondering, God has said He hears us! Happy anniversay to all of our family...today is finally an anniversary we can mark, filled with happiness!
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4 comments:

Patti J said...

Welcome little Ronan! Mom's been gone 11 years, and I feel what you feel. What a blessing your Ronan will be! Spoil him rotten, because he was sent to be a very special young man! Hugs to all...

Shelia said...

Donna, I sit in awe of todays chapter. What a bittersweet day this is. Thank you for sharing.

Treasure Queen said...

What a joy and celebration a new baby is... and what a special day to arrive!

Andrea L - EnchantINK said...

What a beautiful gift ... and I so enjoyed reading this ... as I wait for news of my first grandchild being delivered today! It is a long hard labour and I am very distracted. But ... God has a precious little one ... almost ready for us! I still have my mum to share the joy ... although she is busy with my dad still in hospital. I hope your memories never fade. Hugs xxaxx