The screen filtered the twirly maple seed pods from entering the bedroom perched high on the second floor above the front walk. The early May breezes filled the room with fresh air and fluttered the organdy ruffled curtains dusty from the winter. She sat quietly in the rocking chair that she had pulled close to the window so that she could gaze out down the street and watch the passers by. She wondered where they were going. Her tiny fingers played with a store bought necklace as she contemplated how to open the links that created the chain. Her imagination was turning and she thought she could make it look prettier and perhaps change it into a bracelet. She used the tip of her pen to push the links apart and before she realized it she had all the pieces in the palm of her hand. She laid them carefully in the windowsill and watched as they rolled down the incline to rest against the metal screen edge. She was careful not to let them spill out through the weep hole.
She wondered why she felt different from most people, why she was misunderstood, why she was so shy, and why she felt so lonely. The little girl of 8 could not have known then what she knew now. Years of creativity saved her from those feelings and she gained confidence in who she was. She learned many lessons and always filtered what she learned in her drawings, and decorating and creating. She learned too that some of those things were concealed in a place that she did not know existed until they were revealed to her and the sun shone upon them for her to see. Some of them awakened and ah ha moment and she saw what she had learned, and was proud,  but others had come to play with her until she recognized what she had hidden away. It was difficult to face and it took her a long time to get acquainted and to get where she was now. It was not a happy time but it was a time of great contemplation. A time to work out what she knew had to be worked out. It was time now to learn the lessons she had not taken the time to learn. She needed to recognize from whence the feelings came and not put them on a modern day scenario. It was time to talk to that little girl and feel the hurt she felt that day in that room, in that room where the breezes blew to an unknown place and in that room where she learned about her creativity and how she could use it to keep her heart safe.
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1 comment:

Andrea L - EnchantINK said...

Hhhmmm ... mostly I can understand the 'hidden' meaning in your writings ... and I do get the loneliness and lack of confidence here. I wonder ... though ... who this little girl might be??? Hugs xxx