A Look Back

I stared out the window remembering the days of being a young mother and thinking that was when I thought I lost myself. I used to be fun and happy and vibrant and on the go and waiting to go at a moments notice. Then, I did what all girls at that time who were my age did, and I got married. Not long after that, I had children which began a new chapter in my life. I can still see the days when I would wake up and not even lifting my head from the pillow I would close my eyes again and say to myself "not another day"! It just seemed so monotonous and run of the mill. The same routines and schedules with nothing new to look forward to. Then, when I couldn't stand it any longer I would clean. It became a sense of relief for me.

That was over 35 years ago. Now I stare out a new window, neat and clean with no noise in the background and no schedule to keep and I dream of those days that are behind me. They sped along so swiftly. It makes me think of the isolation that some young mothers have. They go about in their day to day routines feeling lost within themselves. What a shame that there is not a mentoring system for them from older moms who have been there and done that and can share how important their time right now is. A mentor who is not a family member, someone who will not judge but support,  a complete stranger that she could lean on. To hear a lesson that things don't need to be tidy and neat right now, for there will be years ahead of them when all that will be routine. How nice it would be to hear " let it go and be young at heart and play and nurture and enjoy", or "embrace the person you are for the person you left behind will be waiting ahead of you in the future to be at your beck and call when the schedules are gone and you long for them back again".

Standing at the window I realize you never lose yourself for real you just transform!

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Diana said...

What a great thought! I do remember those hectic days and miss them well, actually miss my children! But all is not lost, I still have two teens at home so I keep pretty busy just slower now, LOL!!!
Love Di ♥

Megan said...

Thank you for this! Staying home is so hard! I do often feel as if I've lost "myself", and I have often just wished for the day to end, only to be frustrated, saddened, and overwhelmed that the same monotony is in store for me the next day. But then I realize how LUCKY I am to see every "first", to be her consistency, to know her every cry/laugh/whimper/hum and know exactly what it means. I hate that my house isn't as clean as I'd like and that most days I live in pajamas (because, she refluxes so bad, it's not worth getting dressed!!), but it is something I'm learning to get over. I try very, very hard to never take what I have for granted, because I know if it was ever taken from me I would be broken.

Love you, Auntie!

Andrea L - EnchantINK said...

I think we all go through this moment, Donna .... And then suddenly realise how short the time is and feel regretful for wishing it away! I hope that soon you will be able to look forward and imagine ... Rather than feeling sad about what has gone before! I am looking forward to times with my family ... And a new grandchild too!!! Hugs xxx