Wind howls outside my office window, battering rain against the panes of glass, but it doesn't touch me. I am secure in knowing from experience there is safety within the walls of my home.
I think about that statement as I reflect on all that 2012 brought with it and think about how simple those words can make my life. This past year was filled with stories of my life, written here on this blog in prose that was filled with imagery and metaphors. We all have pain and hurt and experiences that we remember in our day to day hours. They creep in when we pick up toy from living room floors, and scrub bathrooms or sometimes even when we lay in the sun, but some of our stories are held deep within our hearts not to be shared until the grace of God opens up our voices.
That is what happened this year. As Christmas approaches I remember being in third grade and chosen to be the Blessed Mother in a school holiday pageant. I was teased from then on about being so sweet and kind, after all who else would be chosen to be her. It was a tough role to live up to! My life did not parallel hers for one second. Deep down I did not feel sweet and kind because every blemish, however innocuous seemed dirty. She may have had the same feelings as a woman when she was chosen to be the mother of our Lord Jesus. Perhaps she held some secrets and then when the grace of God revealed her voice she was able to tell of her conception, and fears and wisdom and pain to share with all the world along with the stories from the apostles and Jesus himself.
God revealed my voice this year and I shouted all my stories over and over to anyone who would listen. I wrote the black and white history of my heart in a book that may never be published, but it will always be there for me to read and search out answers whenever I want to. It is not spiritual like the story of Mary, but it gave me such great healing. A lifetime of lies and secrets and hurts and injustices fled from my heart into an ocean deep enough to keep them where they could never hurt again. I learned that by sharing those stories I released them into the expanse of the universe to help others, but most of all me.
It is 12/21/2012 and the world has not come to an end as pop culture predicted. The Mayan Calendar predicted and end to non time and a beginning of time, the end to hatred and the beginning of love, and end to lies and the beginning of truth, the end to sadness and the beginning of JOY. I can see now that the howling and labor pains of 2012 did not hurt me, but instead it gave me rebirth. I look forward to celebrating the commencement of 2013 and welcome the new lessons I will learn in hopes that they will not be buried, but will be shared instead as experiences for others to learn from.
I reflect once again on the scene in the manger when Mary looks down at her son and feels no more pain of the hours the preceded that moment and I think about how labor pains bring great joy in the end. The work we do on the journey of our lives is like labor and that work will render up fruits that will always remain sweet, especially if you keep step in the light of Jesus.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Life!
Pin It Now!